trendy trendy

Trends. This is basically a fashion buzz-word. Pink is the new black, black is the new white, jodhpurs are in in in, you get the idea. I get a lot of fashion magazines in the mail and enjoyably follow a lot of fashion blogs but I have to say that I’m not really much of a trend girl. Coworkers and friends have told me that I’m “trendy” but I really have no idea what that means, in general I think it means that I wear some pretty weird shit sometimes and get away with it because of my profession (graphic artist- I’m not a lady of the night or anything, if that’s what you were thinking) and people say “trendy” to seem nicer than telling me I look like a circus escapee. Sometimes when I show my sister something she’ll dismiss it with a “nice, but it’s SO Chloe 2006.” What? Let’s be honest people. I have neither the memory capacity or salary capacity to follow trends. I usually just wear whatever the hell amuses me and doesn’t destroy my credit card bill. It doesn’t embarrass me to wear last last last last season’s shoes or whatever. I’ve noticed, however, a couple of “trends” this season (or maybe last season.. or maybe I’m just super far behind… dammit people I am really not hip or observant enough to keep up with stuff) that confound the hell out of me.

jumpsuits

1. JUMPSUITS

I don’t think I’ve worn one of these ever, though I vaguely remember my sister and I may have had matching jumpsuits at some point when I was 4 or 5, and given that was 20 or so years ago, I’m not really capable of remembering the specifics. Ok I am going to be a little bit TMI here. There’s really no way to get out of one of these without taking the whole thing off, so if you’ve popped one of these on for a night out and you’ve had a little too much to drink, how on earth do you go to the bathroom? Maybe because I don’t own any of these there’s a secret that jumpsuit owners know that I don’t; if there is, feel free to leave it in a comment as I’m dying to know. A friend told me it’s just like wearing a swimsuit onesie, but I’m a bikini girl and have never encountered any problems while wearing a swimsuit when nature calls, so, you know, I dunno.

overthekneeboots

2. OVER THE KNEE BOOTS

I’ll get behind (and into) some pretty strange, uncomfortable, hard to walk in boots but honestly these just go beyond my comfort zone. It’s already enough of an effort in some shoes to walk around without falling on my ass but not being able to really move my knees seems like it’d post more problems than they’re worth. Also I am genuinely curious, how do you sit down? I also imagine it can’t be too sexy to have your boyfriend or sig other remove these as it’d involve an unnecessary, probably awkward, and possibly tiring amount of pulling. Sadly I do think about these things, if only out of, you know, consideration and such, and also because I hate anything that takes too much trouble to disrobe out of in private twosome moments.

harlem

3. HARLEM PANTS

You’d think I’d be on board for these because bellydance is one of my hobbies. Maybe it’s because I’m only like, 5’2″ and already know there’s no chance in hell these would look remotely good on me, but I don’t think I’ve seen these look flattering on ANYONE when just walking around on the street. No offense if you wear harlem pants, maybe they work for you, but if a 6 foot 5 model looks like she’s kind of wearing 2 strangely wrapped bags on her legs, chances are you’re not much better off. If you’re bellydancing and moving the fabric around and have it paired with a fancy bralette ensemble (ie a dance COSTUME) it looks fine, but if you’re just hanging out or walking down the street I’m probably wondering why you made the decisions in life you did.

I have pretty extreme opinions when it comes to certain things or items of fashion but it really is a your mileage may vary kind of thing, which is what fashion and dressing yourself really is. If any of these items work for you, more power to you! Personally though I know I’d look pretty terrible wearing them which is what largely formed my opinion. Sometimes I feel like I have to be careful about sharing my opinion though; when I was living in Japan I once totally went off on how much I hated the crop tailored work shorts culotte trend and how everyone was wearing them only to have the sweet Japanese friend I was with later embarrassedly remove her trench to reveal that she was wearing the very item of clothing I’d been ridiculing over lunch. I felt like a total tool for the rest of the afternoon.  So take my rantings with a grain of salt. If you love ’em, love ’em! If you don’t, well, like me, you’re certainly entitled to your opinion.

love, wen

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